Clary aka Lunatic
by unforgiveable
Summary: Clary comes back to the Institute one night, but things seem a bit off... A little crude but also funny : rated M for language and sexual content.


**This was just a short thing I wrote with a friend when we were feeling a bit bored. I hope you think its as funny as we did. :)**

**Disclaimer: The brilliant Cassie Clare owns these characters, not I.**

Clary walked into the Institute. It looked different than normal; everything had a strange purplish hue. As she made her way to the elevator she heard a whisper. She halted and looked around, but there was nothing there. She entered the elevator and pushed the level three button. It began to rise, but suddenly it dropped, and kept dropping. Clary let out a yelp, clutching the railing inside of the elevator. It stopped descending and the door opened. She expected it to be the first floor again, but it wasn't, it was the third.

Jace was leaning lazily against the wall across the elevator. Unlike everything else in the Institute, Jace was all gold. He pushed himself off the wall and went to stand in front of Clary.

"What's wrong babe?" he asked looking concerned. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yeah something like that," she whispered. She was still very confused about what happened during the elevator ride. Jace took her hand and led her down the hallway, past the kitchen. Clary caught a flicker of movement by the fridge, but Jace kept a grip on her arm so she didn't have time to turn and look. Jace opened the door to his room and brought her inside. His room was perfectly clean as usual. The only change was that where there was a mirror on the wall before, there was now a horse's head hanging on the wall. _What the hell?_

Jace turned suddenly and shoved Clary up against the wall, forcing his body against hers. He met her lips forcefully with his own. His tongue forced her mouth open. Clary was surprised, but she recovered quickly and kissed him fiercely back. Clary gave a little yelp when Jace bit her lip. He smiled and then tugged on her messy red hair.

"Ow Jace that hurts!" she protested feebly.

"Bitch, get on your knees," he demanded. When she didn't react he moved swiftly to knock her down so she was now kneeling in front of him. Clary was too stunned to react. Before she had realized what happened Jace unzipped his pants and pulled his boxers down revealing his Wang.

"Now suck it, hoooooe," he said with a gangster tone.

"What! Jace, what the hell are you doing?" she yelled.

"I said suck my Wang bitch!" he yelled back. "What don't you get about that?"

"Umm…okay I guess," she whispered, eyeing the humongous golden Wang hanging in front of her face. She tried to put her lips around it, but it didn't quite fit.

"You got a problem, bitch?" Jace asked looking down at Clary.

"It won't fit in my mouth," Clary explained.

"Bitch, make it fit, or I'll help you with my knife," he said cocking his head to the side and pulling a pocket knife out of his back pocket. Tears started rolling down Clary's face.

"Jace, Stop! You're scaring me!" she screamed, hysteria taking over her mind. "Why are you acting like this?"

At that moment the door swung open and there was Jace. Another Jace.

"What the fuck is going on!" he yelled. Clary was so confused; she snatched the knife out of psycho Jace's hand and scurried under the bed. Out of nowhere, snakes descended from the mattress, wrapping themselves around her legs. She began sobbing, not knowing what was going.

"What the fuck is happening to me!" she yelled through her tears. Nice Jace ran to the bed and knelt down to look at her.

"Clary, are you crazy? Get out from under the bed!" he screamed at her. Clary quickly covered her ears and began to rock back and forth moaning.

"Don't yell at me!" she sobbed. Jace just sat there incredulously when all of the sudden Clary stabbed him through the heart. She waited for the blood to begin spilling from the wound but nothing happened. Jace just looked at her and shook his head.

"I don't know what's going on with you right now but you can talk to me when you're sober." Clary looked behind him and watched as mean Jace became purple mist and floated out of the room. That's when the horse head on the wall began to neigh and the rest of its body ran through the wall and out the room following the mist. When she looked back, nice Jace was gone.

* * *

><p>Clary woke up slowly, rubbing her eyes as they adjusted to the bright room. She looked around, confused for a moment until she remembered what happened last night.<p>

"Oh my God," she whispered to herself, "What the fuck happened to me?" She crawled out from under the bed and looked at herself in the mirror. She was a disaster. Her hair was a mess, her makeup looked like bruises around her eyes, and her shirt was ripped across her stomach. She went to the bathroom connected to Jace's room and cleaned up.

A while later she left to find Jace. He was sitting in the kitchen eating something.

"Jace—" she started, but before she could say anything else, tears started rolling down her cheeks. Jace opened his arms to her and she leaned into them, resting her head on his chest.

"Ah Clary, what the hell happened to you?" Jace asked. Clary pulled away and looked into Jace's eyes.

"I don't know," she mumbled, "I went to a party at Magnus' and then came back here, like I said I was."

"Did you drink or eat anything? Because you looked stoned last night." Clary shook her head.

"Wait, I had some water, but it was just water it couldn't have had anything in it." Clary explained. Her tears started again.

"It's okay. It's not your fault, I'll talk to Magnus later. So why did you run away from me last night?" Jace asked concerned. Clary looked at him, suddenly a bit scared.

"Umm I don't think I should tell you…"

"Clary, you can tell me anything," he assured her.

"Well it started when I came into the Institute. Everything was purple and I thought I heard someone whispering. When I got in the elevator it started dropping, I was so scared, and I thought I was going to die. But then it opened on the third level and I saw you waiting there for me, you were entirely gold. You lead me to your room and—" She stopped and looked guiltily at Jace.

"It's okay, I promise," he assured her again.

"We started kissing and then… you made me … suck your dick." Clary stopped when she saw Jace was laughing. "Jace! It's not funny!"

"Oh come on Clary, that's a little funny," he said trying to stop.

"Anyways, when I didn't do it, you pulled a knife on me. That's when the real you came in and I hid under the bed. Snakes came out of the mattress and wrapped around me, I was so scared." Clary was crying again.

"Aw baby, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you under there," Jace comforted her. Clary looked into his eyes again.

"I love you," she whispered. Jace gently kissed her.

"I love you too," he said against her lips.

**Please Review :)**


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